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Archives for September 2013

Get a voice that gets heard

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Let’s talk about how you can deliver your message in a manner that makes people receptive to hearing you.

We see situations all the time where people say, “But that’s not what I meant!”

blog3Here’s how you can manage how your perception is experienced by others – use a delivery pattern that works better for the content you’re using.  Many, many people reverse the vocal and visual pattern they should use to be heard.  They use a ton of expression when they’re upset and virtually none when they’re pleased or trying to inspire.   So many of our clients have gotten feedback that they don’t praise enough – in reality, they don’t emote enough when they’re praising!

Here are some tips to be more effective in making people receptive to your message:

  • Use a more neutral delivery, visually and vocally, when giving a tough message
  • Widen vocal expressiveness on positive messages
  • “Walk the voice down the stairs” or flatten out the pitch on tough messages

Just do this, and you’ll be significantly more effective in your messaging.

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Unexamined history is bound to repeat itself – especially in the workplace!

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QUICK OVERVIEW:  We are not emotional file cabinets that can be shut and locked up on command, even at work.

military1It is shockingly consistent – people in all positions, all disciplines, all over the world have blissfully ignored the impact their past has on their present.  We’ve had clients have enormous breakthroughs in coaching when they realized how vividly their past was affecting their future.

Your family is still impacting you at work – trust us!

Dodie Smith described family as “That dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape.”  That was true for one of our clients, who was seen as lacking fire in the belly and said “I come from a family of farmers.  My folks didn’t voice their optimism much. Inspiration didn’t matter on a farm.  The cows don’t care how you talk to them as long as you show up on time.”

It’s so easy to assume that we are totally divorced from what has happened to us in our families or with the way we were imprinted by early bosses.  That’s never true.

We’ve all seen terrible behavior from executives, today even more than in the past.  The reason we can learn just as much if not more from bad examples of leadership than good examples is because they’re so powerful – they really pack an emotional wallop!  If you think about it right now, you can remember experiencing or observing some really rotten approaches to management, can’t you?  How long ago did they happen?  The pain you see people going through because of poor management is memorable for years and years – sometimes decades.  First bosses are a lot like our parents in our early formative career years.

Transplant the tulip bulbs

We had a client who had been in the military and had been raised in a military family.  This awareness explained why she was so silent in meetings with senior leaders, why she couldn’t rapidly organize her thoughts under pressure and why it limited her ability to influence in the moment.  She thought she was being appropriately respectful to authority figures.  Once she saw on video and in her data how it was reducing her ability to impact those around her, she was able to be strong, clear and powerful when she needed it most.

Ironically, her ability to be vocally assertive with authority figures was pronounced in her life outside of work – she’d proven that in effectively fighting for her community in contentious city council meetings with local leaders.  By seeing how that looked on tape when she projected such power, and coupling that with her awareness of her family history, she authentically transferred this power and presence to meetings with senior leaders. She had to learn how to transplant the skills from one part of her life to another part of her life – and she did.

Just knowing that you have a past, and it’s always part of your present, will help you manage your future.

 

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Quote of the week

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“The need for influence is greater than ever before.  We’re no longer in a position of being able to throw people and resources at things that need to be done.  We have to do it through fine-tuning our influence capabilities.”