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Archives for January 2016

Defined Expectations

January 26, 2016 By Tom Mungavan Leave a Comment

Setting expectations that are clear to us are often not sufficient. In fact, we find that people who are very competent at what they do are the poorest at setting successful expectations for others. If the giver has a picture of the outcome that is different from the receiving person, expectations will likely not be met fully. “Any professional should know you don’t do ___ (fill in the blank)” is often the refrain from the person who set poor expectations for others. They did not fill in the blank for the other person.

Half peeled potatoes
Half peeled potatoes

Caring Husband Example

A caring husband saw that his wife was busy in the kitchen and offered to help.

“What can I do to help you?” he asked.

She replied, “Take this bag of potatoes, peel half of them and put them in the big pot to cook.“

When he peeled half of each potato, she was shocked.

I like this example because it reflects missed expectations with the best of intentions.  The meaning is so clear to the wife and yet misunderstood by the husband.  So who is responsible for the misunderstood expectations?  Often the wife will be angry because the husband was incompetent in the kitchen. The husband would argue that he was just trying to help and did what he thought she wanted.

This example is overly simple, but similar situations occur all the time. Well-intentioned subordinates (or others) do their best at what they think is wanted and have the wrong picture in their mind of the end result.  Other times, the giver of the of the expectation did not accurately say what they wanted, or was very general.  The subordinate might say, “It didn’t make sense, but that is what she said she wanted.” The cost of unclear expectations is very high.

So Who Is to Blame?

That is clearly the wrong question. However, the expectation setter is the most responsible for clear expectations. It is the responsibility for the other person to confirm and clarify the expectation. In almost all cases, more time needs to be spent by both parties to clarify expectations in order to avoid waste and wrong outcomes.

Relationship Impact on Expectations

There needs to be the desire to meet the expectations for the optimal results.  Therefore, positive and trusted relationships contribute strongly to aligned expectations. Clear consequences for failure to meet expectations are also important.

For those of us who have raised teenagers, or dealt with contentious unions, we know that a desire to meet our expectations may not be the context in which our expectations are received.

Sometimes one person in the conversation may be looking for any ambiguity in the expectations as a way of avoiding what is being asked for. It raises the bar on how clear and measurable exceptions and consequences need to be.

More Information on Expectations

Effective expectation setting is a critical part of leadership and executive presence.  Chapter 5 of “Seeing Yourself as Others Do – Authentic Executive Presence at Any Stage of Your Career”

Our product pipeline also includes a video series on how to set and achieve expectations. Let us know if that is something you would like us to move up on the priority list.

 

 

Stop, Look, Go – A Key to Happiness

January 24, 2016 By Tom Mungavan Leave a Comment

Five Million views on TED.com video “Want to be happy? Be grateful”  by Brother David Steindl-Rast, an 89 year-old Benedictine monk addresses the universal desire to be happy. He shows how we can choose to be grateful in the moment even when feeling challenged and rushed. He is widely embraced by a wide range of people around the world for is wisdom and hope for a more grateful world where people are more connected and appreciative.

 David Steindl-RastWhat struck me is how his wise and simple advice is so fitting for the many people I know who feel highly challenged if not reaching the level of overwhelmed.

In a recent interview with Krista Tippett’s On Being podcast, he shares a bit about his history and also goes deeper into his belief and personal process of being more grateful. When he eats a meal, he gives thanks for the thousands of people who grew the food, processed, delivered, sold, and prepared the meal. It acknowledges the connectedness we have with each other.

What to do

If we STOP in the face of anxiety, we have a chance LOOK at the situation and then GO to choose our response to a situation. Should we be thankful for the opportunity (to be alive, to have a job, to make a difference, to not be starving, for running water or electricity, for loved ones, for health, etc.) or are we being called to stand up for ourselves and others (a moment of decision or learning)? It can take only a moment, but it can provide a chance to live gratefully.

He quotes Maya Angelou: “This is a wonderful day. I’ve never seen it before.” He recalls living where there was not electricity or running water. When he returned, he was so grateful for every light switch and running water. Soon it was easy to go back to taking if for granted. We need to remind ourselves to be grateful. We can’t be grateful for the bad things that happen in our life. We can still be grateful in each moment.

The payoff for being grateful in each moment is happiness.

 

iPhone Tip – Send your location to a friend

January 24, 2016 By Tom Mungavan Leave a Comment

Mobile phones have significantly changed how we function and interact. One function that is used more by teenagers than adults maybe helpful to you. When sending text messages using iMessage (the normal Apple text messages), you can easily respond to a request for your location that makes it easy for the other person to find you using the Map application. Yes, that means they can get directions to you from where they are located.

Example2016-01_IMG_7030

Someone sends you a text message asking where you are located. When you open the message, press on “Details” in the upper right corner.

The next window will offer you a choice to “Send My Current location“.

2016-01_IMG_7031A map with your location will be displayed in the other person’s phone. That will allow them to use the Map application to route to you.

 

2016-01_IMG_7032Warning

2016-01_IMG_7033It is usually not wise to use the “Share My Location” option on this screen. The option allows you to continually show your location for one hour, until the end of the day, or indefinitely.  Even if your privacy is not a concern in using the continual sharing of your location, this option will quickly drain your battery as the phone keeps sending updates regarding your location.

 

Quote: Kindness

January 22, 2016 By Tom Mungavan Leave a Comment

medical_help_walker_150_clr_6119“Always be a little kinder than necessary.”

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