Change Masters Incorporated - The Blog

World class coaching delivered around the world™

Archives for November 2016

How Safe Do You Want to Be?

By 1 Comment

I recall the decision to start my own business and leave the “security” of a large company.  It was a big challenge. It was tougher than I ever anticipated. Had I known in advance … I would have chickened out.  It took about five years to toss off my large company paradigms.  When I needed office space … I had to find it and negotiate the contracts. There was no facilities manager to call.  So I learned. Looking back … knowing what I know … I would do it again in a heart beat.

competition_corporate_ladder_400_clr_6915So is it risky to be in my own business?  Absolutely.  Is it riskier than being a senior leader in a large organization? Probably not.  In both cases, it’s about control and options.  When I see a leader who has chosen to be financially conservative  and not define themselves by their job … they are able to be the best possible leader.  If she has some viable “Option B” and “Option C” to her current role … she can be at her best.  She can fight for what is right and do what needs to be done … even against the odds.  It is a lot like running your own business.

When leaders feel dependent on their job and company financially and/or emotionally … life can be hell when things aren’t going well.  We are seeing it way too often. People who do not do what is right because they are afraid. It destroys the person and the company.

The classic story of the frog sitting still for being boiled when the temperature is slowly increased over time fits several companies today. Each year the stress temperature gets a little hotter, and the courage gets a little cooler.  Soon the stress is boiling hot and courage is gone. People race up the ladder to the top and find it’s leaning against the wrong wall. It can feel very painful and scary. It is too easy to play it safe as the critic, instead of being the doer and the fighter.

Teddy Rosevelt
Teddy Roosevelt

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

It is ultimately personal choice that gives us freedom and courage … not the company or the role.

Let’s Listen to Each Other a Little Longer

By Leave a Comment

During my college years, I spent a summer in London as a part of an internship sponsored by the London School of Economics. It was a great summer in many ways. One of the things I enjoyed most was the animated debates.  An evening in the pub consisted of people taking sides on an issue and arguing strongly for that point of view … even when they believed just the opposite to be true. It was entertainment. It was mind-broadening to try to understand people who think differently.

I enjoy debate on the taboo subjects of religion and politics with a worthy adversary who has facts, perspective, and the ability to hear a different viewpoint. As President of the Catholic student organization on my college campus, I completed 52 hours of Mormon indoctrination while openly being clear I disagreed with their fundamental premise that God had abandoned the church because of its many human failings. I partnered with the 30 religious organizations on campus to stimulate public debate about religious beliefs, including non-believers. I benefited greatly from the debate and dialogue. It was healthy and respectful.

“I Disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it“ quote is often attributed to Voltaire.  While the origin is debated, there is no question that it is the heart of democracy.

It pains me to see the polarization that I now see in this country. Voltaire would roll over in his grave. I would like to say my love of debate has kept me with Voltaire, and above the fray.  It has not. As hard as I try … I am astonished at what is said by who and to whom. I am astonished when my view of others is changed by hearing their political beliefs.  How did I get to this point? How did so many of us get to this point?

Just Listen a Little Longer

Dinner Conversation
Dinner Conversation

What if we embraced more Voltaire in our day-to-day life? What if we tried harder to hear what our “crazy” uncle is afraid of when we meet for the holidays, instead of writing him off with a sarcastic comment.  After all, it will not kill us to listen a little longer and still know we can disagree.  What if we were willing to consider that at least some of our own beliefs are not shared by others who are of good faith and character?   What if we held on to the possibility of good intent of others, even if we disagree with their conclusions?

The facts are that the world is the best it has ever been in terms of health, wealth, safety, and lack of war. There is progress on many fronts of social justice. That doesn’t mean people believe it to be true. It doesn’t mean there is not much more to do. If people feel afraid for their safety, or afraid for their financial future they will not see the good. We all act on what we believe to be true for us.  Having empathy, forgiveness and grace for others … particularly those with whom we disagree, is what we can do personally.

There was a lab experiment where monkeys were put in cages and exposed to flashing lights and loud sounds that created high stress. In the experiment, they were able to cut the stress in half by putting two monkeys together in the same cage … all else was the same.  Just the connection to others can help us reduce our stress.  Just listening to each other a little longer might reduce stress.