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Archives for April 2020

Calm and Alert

April 28, 2020 By Carol Keers Leave a Comment

There is a reason the Calm app is up 75% in the last month! It’s all about breathing – the simplest and most effective technique to help people get through these times of unknown outcomes. You can learn how to breathe more effectively – right now.

When breathing, most people only move 10 -15% of the air out of their lungs. When you take a very deep breath, you are driving out 80% of the air in your lungs – more than five times as much air.

That’s why when you breathe deeply it feels completely different. It causes your lungs to open up many more air sacs. More oxygen goes into your brain. Your whole body will feel relaxed and alert. We call this “meeting breathing” – slowly and inconspicuously taking deeper breathes using your diaphragm.

You can display more executive presence by being relaxed and aware. The best way to do so is by taking a deep breath or two.  After all, oxygen is still free!

Executive presence tip – Carol Keers

Looking Good

April 24, 2020 By Tom Mungavan Leave a Comment

Rules for success have been continually changing. The drama of so many people working from home has been an enormous shift. “When I get on a videoconference from home, am I at work or at home?”

The obvious answer is “You are working.” There are many humorous stories where people did not get the message. There are other stories where the suit is on top and not the bottom. It’s OK as long as you don’t walk expose your choice as you walk away from the camera!

The truth is you are at home. A suit is not needed. Business casual is appropriate (whatever that means in your company).

If you can isolate for a videoconference that is preferable. Pets can be contained. If there are young children – not so much. We all need to understand the conflicting needs of working at home when it comes to children.

Young children at home are particularly challenging. One mother said her young daughter reported: “My mom isn’t really working. All she does is talk on the phone.”

Young children at home are particularly challenging. One father said his young son reported: “My dad isn’t really working. All he does is talk on the phone.”

As difficult as this time is for so many people, I believe there will be a number of benefits going forward. An enormous number of people have learned to connect remotely on videoconference. Many business people will no longer fly for two days for a one-hour meeting when a videoconference will work.

I hope we adapt our college system to use technology to make education more cost-effective. I hope we reduce loneliness because people connect more via video. Nothing replaces the hug of a loved one. Seeing their eyes and smile goes a long way to connect via videoconference.

Surprising Insight

April 21, 2020 By Carol Keers Leave a Comment

My client said, “Carol, I’ve had a surprising insight, perhaps you could share with your clients. The video conference world brought on by COVID is actually HELPING to enable my Change Masters goals! Why? Because I now see myself and the other person/people at the same time while talking. I get a real-time view of my facial expressions, emotions, and delivery while also seeing reactions from others. This is actually a gift!”

What a genius insight, and what a great reframing of a challenging situation. Think of how every Zoom or videoconference can help you move beyond your current skillset – it will give you a whole new level of understanding executive presence!

Executive Presence Tip – Carol Keers

Loneliness

April 16, 2020 By Tom Mungavan Leave a Comment

About one in five people describe themselves as lonely. That means they persistently feel some degree of isolation – a significant theme in our working environments today. Many feel lonely even when they are in a committed relationship. Others who are not in a committed relationship do not feel lonely at all. Why the disparities? How does this relate to you?

The reality is, most of us feel lonely at times. That’s normal. Being alone is not the same as feeling lonely because some people cherish the time they have alone – at least for a while. Loneliness is more about not feeling connected to others.


Humans are social animals which means their need for connection is in our DNA. Yes, some have a stronger need than others. For instance, I am much more social than my wife, who would appear on the surface to want more engagement. So, what do you need from others?

Basic Instincts

At its most basic level, our need for connection is a protective instinct. It’s from our caveman/cavewoman heritage. We are constantly and unconsciously scanning, looking for people who will support us when we need them in a dangerous situation. We want people who will not reject us from the connection to the community – it’s a survival instinct.

This instinct places the responsibility on us to give the same support to others. It requires caring, forgiveness and support, but also recognizing the benefits of mutual connection. It’s about having a shared context. That means to avoid loneliness, you need to determine some level of shared interest, goal or community and maintain it.

We have a shared connection with people who we regularly say hello to every day. If we share information about our family or interests regularly, the relationship is a little deeper. When you expand that to working or playing together, loneliness reduces even more. Long-term relationships of interdependence drive the connection much deeper.

Painful Clarity

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