Self Management

Who Makes You Smile?

July 5, 2020 By Tom Mungavan Leave a Comment

When you are around happy and funny people it is easier to be happy. Even a sunny day after several cloudy days can put a smile on my face.

Our Energy as a Leader is Contagious.

Leaders who have confidence even facing difficulty will nurture confidence in others. It needs to be rational confidence. But every cloud has a silver lining that can be called out.

One of my Asian clients was discussing the multiple challenges the US is facing. He said, “The United States always finds a way. Remember the 1980’s when people thought Japan was going to become a larger economy than the USA?” He provided perspective.

We have learned that many people can work well at home and sometimes better. We will forever restructure how work gets done based on what we have learned.

Look for Opportunity

Help your team look for change opportunities. I heard an applicable anonymous quote: “When option ‘A’ fails, there are 25 more letters left in the alphabet.”

Be a carrier of the positive energy virus. Wait you say – you are running low on your tank? Of course. That is why it is important to take care of yourself so you can help others. Who gives you positive energy. Do you have movies that make you laugh? Do you take care of yourself first? It is essential.

Forgive Yourself and Others

We will all make mistakes. We all have losses. Getting knocked down is a part of life right now. Just get back up and do the next right thing.

Forgive yourself and forgive others. Forgiveness is not avoiding consequences – they still need to be applied. It releases negative energy to do the next right thing.

Apology

June 2, 2020 By Carol Keers Leave a Comment

The heartbreaking coverage of the horrific events of the last week also included a lot of bad apologies. Here are three (courtesy of Adam Grant):

The “if-pology” – “I’m not saying I did it, but if I did, I would be really sorry.”
The “no-fault apology” – “Sure, I did something wrong, but I didn’t know it was wrong at the time.”
The “un-pology” – “My apology was genuine, but I didn’t really do the thing I apologized for, so I hereby deny it.”

We all know a fake apology when we hear it. And we’ve heard a lot of them lately. Next week, look for three ways to give a maturely authentic apology.

Executive presence tip – Carol Keers

Super Power

May 14, 2020 By Tom Mungavan Leave a Comment

Obstacles are really a guide to uncover where we need to grow. We grow and change in response to challenges. New results come from seeing the problem differently and making adjustments. The bigger the challenge, the more significant the adjustments we need to make.

One of our superpowers is to adjust and take new directions. Losing my job allowed me to finally go into business for myself. With one relationship breakdown, we are often able to find a new one that seems even better.

Today, we have a worldwide obstacle called a pandemic. With all the difficulties – and there are many – people are adjusting in amazing ways. Global environmental pollution is showing ways it can be reduced. Major firms in New York City are declaring that the majority of their employees will likely not return to the giant skyscrapers that define NYC. Remote education can change the dynamics and costs of schools. Business people are learning they can effectively do videoconference rather than spend two days in an airplane for a one-hour meeting.

Community

Human beings need a community. Being deprived of contact has helped us see the value of gatherings, hugs, handshakes and just being together. Being able to clap, scream, and cheer together in a sports stadium or a Broadway play are beloved memories we look forward to seeing again.

We have the superpower of connecting with others. We have the ability to choose to be kind and forgive. We have the power to empathize with the health workers and those struggling to feed their children.

New Approach

The pandemic of a century ago did not have antibiotics or an understanding of viruses. We are more prepared today than 101 years ago. We now have a new mindset about pandemics that will allow us to be more prepared for the next pandemic. We will have PPE and testing ready. We will figure out how to effectively manage contact tracing. We will be better able to cope.

Appreciation

When we can safely move about our communities and the world, we will have a new appreciation for connection to other people and places. We have the opportunity to think differently about how we define community. We are a global community that is interconnected and share a similar destiny for our viruses and our environment. If we have a new mindset, we can create new results. That is our human SUPERPOWER.

Loneliness

April 16, 2020 By Tom Mungavan Leave a Comment

About one in five people describe themselves as lonely. That means they persistently feel some degree of isolation – a significant theme in our working environments today. Many feel lonely even when they are in a committed relationship. Others who are not in a committed relationship do not feel lonely at all. Why the disparities? How does this relate to you?

The reality is, most of us feel lonely at times. That’s normal. Being alone is not the same as feeling lonely because some people cherish the time they have alone – at least for a while. Loneliness is more about not feeling connected to others.

Humans are social animals which means their need for connection is in our DNA. Yes, some have a stronger need than others. For instance, I am much more social than my wife, who would appear on the surface to want more engagement. So, what do you need from others?

Basic Instincts

At its most basic level, our need for connection is a protective instinct. It’s from our caveman/cavewoman heritage. We are constantly and unconsciously scanning, looking for people who will support us when we need them in a dangerous situation. We want people who will not reject us from the connection to the community – it’s a survival instinct.

This instinct places the responsibility on us to give the same support to others. It requires caring, forgiveness and support, but also recognizing the benefits of mutual connection. It’s about having a shared context. That means to avoid loneliness, you need to determine some level of shared interest, goal or community and maintain it.

We have a shared connection with people who we regularly say hello to every day. If we share information about our family or interests regularly, the relationship is a little deeper. When you expand that to working or playing together, loneliness reduces even more. Long-term relationships of interdependence drive the connection much deeper.